The critique is timely, I ponder the dynamics of what gets labeled as “left-right” philosophical/political views. Are the two suggested possibilities about the instability of progressive idealists really two different things? Isn’t narcissism a form of brainwashing? What is more narcissistic than a far right fascist fear based grasp for power and strong armed dominance? Perhaps neither the left are right are dead, maybe this polemic based ego structure, right vs. left, has never been alive.
Conservative minded folks have an enormous organizational advantage — conservatism by nature adopts conformity. I.e. must do, must not do, rules, material and literal measurement and rule making. Religion, capitalism, fascism, racism, bigotry, lust for power, police states, materialism are all restrictive, yes — and also organized. The Tower of Babel. Idealistic and utopia proponents do not tend to be very organized, aligned or practical work at hand focused. Narcissism is rampant in both camps.
Promising myself to try harder to be humble, patient and disciplined is a oxymoron. My ego got me where I am, it’s improbable it will boot strap me out. This then begs the question, where is the escape from capillaries of power? My good-willed friend has a saying, “I may not be much but I am all I think about”. Be honest, of who among is this not true? We are self referencing. Even at our most pragmatic communal philanthropic moments, even when sincerely working in behalf of humane baseline of living wage, safety, nutrition, healthcare, security net, access to education, arts, liberty and equality — only the saints among us step out of selfishness.
My conviction is some “spiritual experience” and acceptance of a higher power needs to be at work. I don’t propose to know what this is. I can’t even consistently just be quietly in meditation with my own breath — being fully in the moment knowing that this experience, what we call life, is rapidly passing and I am mortal, terminal, with no guarantees about the next moment. It’s frustrating to not give the pleasant moment the gratitude it deserves. And they occur, even naked in a Nazi concentration camp. We have historical journal records with notes made by human beings that joy and meaning can occur anywhere under any circumstance.
If I am not sick, hungry, unclothed and unsheltered and am looking at a beautiful sunset it is far too seldom that I burst into hilarious riotous joy of thanksgiving that the moment has been given to me and the rational response is to be willing to work to share this blessing with all my fellow creatures.
The tools I have been taught — being of service to others, being in the moment, being surrendered to the God of my understanding, psychoanalysis of my dreams, honesty, healthy relationships, making a gratitude list, doing something for someone else completely anonymously … the list goes on … are frustratingly difficult to consistently do. The web of narcissism is cunning, baffling and powerful. Without help it is too much for us. I believe there is something more powerful and have the willingness, sometimes, to be open to it. Each of us will soon depart this experience we call life, I wonder if I will have urgency today to be fully alive and of service to others and the good.
