Thank you for a reflective, honest and personal experiential summation of a literally homegrown (with some research) experiment. We are learning about applications for psychotropics such as psilocybin — my guess aligns with the leader of the recent studies at John Hopkins, Roland Griffins, PhD , who speculates (I am not looking up the quote to get it exactly correct) that (this is the gist) our current understanding will seem very primitive 30 years from now. Having read Terence McKenna, Huxley, etc. in the past I have experimented with large doses of LSD, psilocybin and DMT (equal or greater than McKenna’s “heroic” dosage amounts). Recently I read Michael Pollen’s book on the subject. There are other supplemental hacking ideas (as an example Musk’s Neuralink (I am surprised the Medium editor still thinks the company name is a misspelling). I use two psychotropic drugs daily — coffee (caffeine) once per day shortly after awaking from sleep and some sugar. I’m fascinated and have read every word of the trilogy by Tom Campbell (physics) that suggests a theory of a greater consciousness combined with the theory of individuated consciousness which proposes this experience (“life”, the cosmos) as a simulation with a larger purpose of deliberate consciousness choice toward compassion and benevolent intent through meditation and thought choice (a theory not unfamiliar to CG Jung or Plato or many others). If you have ever tripped on a large dose of psilocybin there is a chance this idea might not seem implausible. If we accept the assumption that evolution (a non-entropic theory) exists then I am faced with a question about all my intents and interactions which is: Looking beyond a transactional outcome (such as a better written commentary or more creative idea) the general question is to what ultimate end is the experience and use of my life? Good luck with your searching and life journey, thanks for the candid article.