Most of the missed “no” opportunities in my life happen altogether in silence known only to me and only my internal world involved. Many of these are not so much “no” as “stop”. For instance, my tendency is toward what we now call “ADHD” (we are still in dark ages and have no idea what attention span deficit or hyper activity really is). Everyday, moment by moment, I have the chance to really listen, put the item back where it belongs, contemplate deeply or take my time. Sometimes I say “no” to my own tendencies and paradoxically it always involves a “yes” to a counter-action.

These tiny hidden abstract, ethereal and until a counter-action occurs just esoteric “no(s)” to my own addictions of thought and habit have no fanfare or cast of players outside my own internal experience of “me”. I tend to theorize there is a “me” in there somewhere and subscribe to the theory that there is some degree of “free will”. If freewill is somewhat true, if agency is somewhat true — then the saga in my life is almost altogether an inside job and almost every real “no” comes with an action oriented “yes”. Just my experience for me.