Donnette I’ve lived 68 years so far and had lots of action, thoughts and behaviors that could be put in the container with your story. I’m certain I’m willing to confess them out loud to another person (I have done a “fearless and thorough” inventory more than once and shared with a trusted person every corner of shame or regret) and I’m comfortable I accept them with personal ownership as immoral, selfish, self-centered, grandiose, delusional, wrong, defects, failures, shortcomings, sins — any label that might be used. Generally I’m ok with the world knowing my worst and if I died from a heart attack right now I’m happy with kids, grandkids or anyone going through my life details as they throw stuff away.

What I am a little reluctant to do, for me, is so categorize and simplify any of my life (or anyone else’s) episodes (including the laudable, moral, selfless, wise and noble actions) as altogether, categorically, totally or simplistically with or without value. For instance, your 25 year unconventional relationship if nothing else gave you the experience to write and share from the perspective of who you are today and did for you what you needed to get where you are now (even if perhaps it was more lengthy and painful than a theoretical more optimal path). I submit this response in the dubious support of infinite shades of gray and in honor of what I believe is the rarified truth of pure love and light.