Aushaf, me too! Sorta. I will read your works, I’ve read many of the works that you draw from. I’m slightly different, my “what” isn’t narrowed to just human but ridiculously broader to “what” this whole thing is. I’ve become more convinced the whole thing (infinite cosmos) is one consciousness and though it is an unpopular leaning supported by such a few (such as Stanford’s Robert Sapolsky) I’ve at a late age in life begun to guess that we have a lot less “free will” than our society has had good pragmatic control and surveillance reasons to promulgate. My “search for meaning” has tended these days to pursue a theory of optimal alignment with what an imagined greater consciousness is guiding me to do. I respect and honor science but with that said I’ve obviously come off the rails in my own curiosities.